It's pretty neat, although some of the food comparisons are confusing. Sometimes it is based on weight, and sometimes based on length. Is my baby the weight of green onions, or the length of a cabbage? What is happening right now?! Is he really light and very long or kinda stout and heavy? Am I making a stew?
But I digress.
What you really need to know is that when you sign up for these e-mails, you also get other newsletters that give you a fresh new hell every week to be terrified about.
Or maybe that's just me. Probably.
But really, you guys. These e-mails.
"Epidurals: Pros and Ways they can kill you"
"10 things that most likely mean for certain that you are going into preterm labor"
"Everyday pieces of furniture that you should avoid if you don't want a dumb baby"
"Why isn't your car seat installed yet? You probably did it wrong anyway."
And I think we already established in my last post, that I am a well educated person (pinky toe has nothing to do with pregnancy, noted.), but man these e-mails. They really can make you second guess everything. Especially with pregnancy. Because here is the fun part: Everything is both normal and NOT normal when you are pregnant.
Not feeling the baby move alot? You should call the doctor, that's not normal. Except when it is normal. Different discharge? (sorry guys, pregnancy is gross. lets all get over it) You should call the doctor, that's not normal. Except when it is.
These e-mails may or may not have sent me to urgent care at least once. Because, spoiler alert, when you call the 24 nurse hotline, they ALSO tell you that it's not normal, except when it is. And that you should immediately come in just in case.
The other fun thing is that these e-mails tell you to trust your instincts. That you will KNOW if something is wrong. Well. I for one, have never hosted a human in my body before. Everything about it seems a little off, if you ask me. And just going with my pre-pregnancy baseline, I'm going to go ahead and tell you that my instincts will ALWAYS say something is wrong. They are not finely tuned. I have other strengths.
And, for the record, I have tried to unsubscribe from these lists about 3 different times, and it is NOT working. That's what happens when you are an old mom. The internet immediately becomes confusing upon conception. So I've just started deleting them and not reading. Because, you know what? My mom didn't have e-mail when she was pregnant with me. And I turned out ok.
Sigh. Well, I'm guessing that this is just preparing me for the massive amounts of Mommy shame that our culture loves to impart on each other. So that's good.
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| Pregnancy is very Glamorous |
