The Reality

Today Sucked.

There is a reality that comes with all this fertility business, and that reality is money. I am anticipating my period in the next few days (thanks stick of shame #3!) and with that will come all of this testing that we are *actually* looking forward to, because, answers.

And so I awoke this morning with a start. It's almost December. We haven't really considered what kind of financial burden this will put on us, especially during the holidays. Add to that, Sweet Man Friend's flex spending doesn't kick in until next month.

Shit.

So the long and short of it is, we just can't do all of the testing this month. But next month we can.

And I get it, I really get it. A month in the big picture is not a big deal. It's a blink of an eye. But for where I am, right here, right now, it is painfully disappointing.

Tick, Tock.

BUT.

The good news is, I have this MILLION DOLLAR IDEA.

I thought of it as I scowled at stick of shame #3 today.

You see, there is nothing more disheartening (at least for the woman who is TRYING) to see, just, "NO" on a pregnancy test. I think someone should make one that's marketed towards women who are trying. And it will say things like, "Better luck next time!" or "You tried really hard, sorry!" or "Don't forget! There is more than one way to make a family!"

Maybe my brain isn't 100% in the right place right now, but I really think this could be the million dollar idea that helps pay for this whole endeavor.

Because the testing is just the beginning.

The Clinic

Woah. This place is fancy.

I'm sweating. Why am I sweating?

This is probably my fault because I drink.

No, This is probably because we don't go to church. We should start going to church.

Do they validate parking?

OMG how selfish of me. OF COURSE I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR A BABY. Even pay for parking. Crap. Who heard me think that? I take that back, god.

Oh look here is the doctor. He notes how thick my medical file is.

"Well if it's going to happen, it's going to happen to me...."

.....no laughter....I'll have to try again.

yadda yadda yadda....WOAH there are a lot of lady parts pictures here. And just one penis? that seems unfair.

They refer to the Mr.'s tests as 'fun' and mine as 'painful'. This also seems unfair.

I didn't realize that's what a penis looks like on the inside. I clearly wasn't paying attention in sex ed.

"It's actually statistically really hard to get pregnant"

And yet all those people who claim it was an ACCIDENT?! We should start taxing them to help pay for this appointment.

The doctor explains insemination to us.

"Oh. So basically you want my fallopian tubes locked and loaded."

He sort of laughs this time, I'll take the win.

So we are going to schedule some tests. Fantastic! Here comes the nurse with the paperwork.

WOAH. That shit is printed on glossy heavy weight paper, IN COLOR. Hmmm....I wonder if I ask them to print all my paper work on regular paper in greyscale...will they give me a discount on my appointments?

"Thank you so much for your time. We really look forward to finding out more!"

crap...how are we going to pay for this?

It's going to be ok. We have each other. And that means, it's always going to be ok.