The Clinic

Woah. This place is fancy.

I'm sweating. Why am I sweating?

This is probably my fault because I drink.

No, This is probably because we don't go to church. We should start going to church.

Do they validate parking?

OMG how selfish of me. OF COURSE I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR A BABY. Even pay for parking. Crap. Who heard me think that? I take that back, god.

Oh look here is the doctor. He notes how thick my medical file is.

"Well if it's going to happen, it's going to happen to me...."

.....no laughter....I'll have to try again.

yadda yadda yadda....WOAH there are a lot of lady parts pictures here. And just one penis? that seems unfair.

They refer to the Mr.'s tests as 'fun' and mine as 'painful'. This also seems unfair.

I didn't realize that's what a penis looks like on the inside. I clearly wasn't paying attention in sex ed.

"It's actually statistically really hard to get pregnant"

And yet all those people who claim it was an ACCIDENT?! We should start taxing them to help pay for this appointment.

The doctor explains insemination to us.

"Oh. So basically you want my fallopian tubes locked and loaded."

He sort of laughs this time, I'll take the win.

So we are going to schedule some tests. Fantastic! Here comes the nurse with the paperwork.

WOAH. That shit is printed on glossy heavy weight paper, IN COLOR. Hmmm....I wonder if I ask them to print all my paper work on regular paper in greyscale...will they give me a discount on my appointments?

"Thank you so much for your time. We really look forward to finding out more!"

crap...how are we going to pay for this?

It's going to be ok. We have each other. And that means, it's always going to be ok.